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| Friday, January 5th, 2007 | | 12:52 pm |
| | Thursday, December 14th, 2006 | | 4:37 pm |
So....what sort of gadget would be a cool gift to get??? I have no clue what to get for Josh. Looking for ideas. He is easy to please. | | Tuesday, December 12th, 2006 | | 10:50 am |
I think I'm getting bitter in my "old" age. I don't know. I can't seem to be happy for other people that are expecting babies. It's not fair that they can go through a healthy pregnancy, with the assurance (albeit naive assurance) that a normal baby will result. That their baby will live. I'm just sick and tired of it. There is this one girl in particular who just doesn't get it! Her baby has some Downs Syndrom soft markers, meaning that they saw one thing on the ultrasound that looks like a characteristic of DS. So now her chances of a DS baby have increased from 1 in 10,000 to 1 in 5,000. Give me a break. I have a 20% chance that my baby will even survive more than 2 days beyond birth. She knows this. So that's a 4/5 chance that it won't even LIVE. And she has to gall to complain to me about a 1 in 5000 chance of Downs Syndrome. I know we all have our battles. But geez, talk about a friend, huh?? Anyway, we don't know if the little bugger is a boy or girl. It hasn't cooperated at all in showing its stuff for the last FOUR ultrasounds! I'm all for teaching children to be modest, but come on! So we've tossed around some names, but it just doesn't seem real yet. I think I'm psychologically not letting myself bond with this baby, sort of a way of protecting my heart. Terrible, huh? Josh thinks that for a girl a good name would be Rosalyn Emma. Um, I'm sorry, but I'm not giving birth to a 90 year old. I'm not up on these trendy made-up names, but Rosalyn??? I don't think so! He was pretty insistent, but then laying in bed one night I realized that if you say "Rosalyn Emma" real fast, you get "enema" somewhere there in the middle. So that took care of itself. ;) In other news, I got a little treat this weekend. One time, about 10 years ago (!!), I was at Will's house and we made these cookies called "Oatmeal Scotchies". Basically oatmeal cookies with butterscotch chips. They had this awesome stand mixer, and all we did was dump stuff in and it mixed! All by itself! I thought it was the coolest thing ever, and I have been lusting after my very own KitchenAid stand mixer for.... ding!ding!ding! 10 years!! And now I have one. It's a muted blue color, and it sits on my counter top. With no cover, because it's awfully sexy and needs to be shown off. I got it on Saturday and I have since made 4 dozen oatmeal scotchies, 4 dozen oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and 2 loaves of banana bread. My next idea is pizza dough. I have plans for a pesto pizza and a Malaysian BBQ chicken pizza. Josh's first batch of beer did not turn out. He made a Strawberry Blonde and the flavor is good (or so I'm told) but it did not carbonate properly. He used Dextrose, but I think he's going to have to go with some sort of forced carbonation tool instead. I'd rather have that anyway, because then we can make root beer that won't be alcoholic so I can participate in frosty beverage consumption. Also, thoughts on this? "New Video game on the market.... 'Left Behind: Eternal Forces' takes place in New York City, shortly after the rapture. Gamers are charged with creating Christian militias who roam the streets of New York City, looking to convert non-believers and killing those who they are unable to draw to their side. In fact, after particularly bloody battles, players must use prayer to recharge the "soul points" that have been diminished by the killing. " I think it's sickening. :( So, that should be a pretty good update to tide you all over for awhile. Off to figure out how to make pizza dough. | | Monday, November 6th, 2006 | | 10:26 pm |
What is wrong with me?? Every once in awhile I fall into this non-functioning depression. I can't do anything around the house, I can't talk to anyone, and I don't want to do anything but curl up in bed. And cry. I can't do this either, because I have to be a good mother. Haley has been such a good kid lately. I think stress is just getting to me. My mom has been here twice in the past 2 weeks. I'm supposed to be on bedrest but I end up doing more work when she is here. She likes to "help" so much that I have to show her how. Some of today's questions include: "Which button do I press on the washing machine??? Come and show me because I can't find it." "There is some sort of chicken wing bone on the street in front of the house, why don't you go and pick that up and throw it away?" "Do you want me to drink orange juice or cranberry juice for breakfast?" "Should I tie the handles on the trashbag or not?" Uggh. You are a big girl, figure it out. I wish I could just lay down and rest like I'm supposed to, like I do most days. Haley is all upset because my mom has her routine all jacked up. She kept chasing her around trying to get her to take a nap at the wrong times today. So now every time my mom is within 10 feet Haley runs away screaming, "No! No! No!" Gee, take the hint much??? Josh is away on business this week. I really need help with Haley even when he's here, but to find out he was going away for 4 days was kind of a blow because I could use the help. So that's why my mom is here. I was especially ticked when Josh's buddy, Steve, (who also works with him) said that Josh could have gotten out of it if he wanted. And I was a little surprised and annoyed when Josh's boss called me and apologized for sending him out of town. He said, "And believe me, I wouldn't make any of my employees do anything I'm not doing too. I have to travel this week otherwise I'd go instead." Well, big whoop. Josh is in New Jersey for 4 days, and his boss had to go to Tijuana for ONE day. Such a tortured soul. Friday is a big doctor's appointment for us. My SIL is coming on Thursday to stay the night and watch Haley for us on Friday. There is something wrong with this pregnancy/baby and we should find out what exactly is wrong on Friday. We should also be able to find out the sex of the baby, but at this point I'm just sort of hoping it's alive, which is not a given at this point. I am avoiding my boards too. I love those girls but I've been feeling ignored lately so I decided to just lay low. I can't seem to even read anything without having to sit on my hands to keep from typing some nasty comment in return. I'm so tired of peoples' "advice" regarding the baby. Don't they think that if my baby's life is in jeopardy that I've probably already looked into the options???? Hello...brains please!!! The highlight of my day: Over the weekend, Josh taught Haley that when he says "Honky Tonk", she replies with "badonkadonk!" So today she was walking around saying "badonkadonk" (which really sounds like "gagonk gonk gonk") and my mom was asking what she was saying. I didn't really feel like explaining so I just shrugged my shoulders and had my own little private joke with myself. Enough rambling...just wanted to vent and kill some time before bed. How sad that all I do each day is look forward to bedtime. | | Monday, October 16th, 2006 | | 4:49 pm |
My sister came to visit. And Haley refused to take her sweater off even though it was 70.  | | Thursday, October 5th, 2006 | | 8:02 pm |
The first five people to respond to this post will get some form of art, by me, about them. I make no guarantees about quality or type, but I will assure that I will give it good effort. The only catch, of course, is that if you sign up, you have to put this in your own journal as well. | | Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | | 6:32 am |
Well...after 7 long weeks in the hospital, I have battled hyperstimulation, severe acute kidney failure, daily dialysis treatments, liver disease, shortness of breath, hyperemesis causing malnutrition, 43 fevers, the loss of two babies, and most recently a life-threatening case of sepsis, I finally get to go home today. Whew! | | Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006 | | 6:55 pm |
I was able to talk my dr. into doing a quick ultrasound today to see how many babies. We are having triplets. HOLY CRAP. | | Sunday, August 20th, 2006 | | 3:47 pm |
What? An entry?
So I guess I'll update you all on my other little secrets since I seem to have some extra time on my hands these days. Especially while Josh is watching golf on TV. Could there be a more boring sport to watch??? Anyway, this whole hospital thing. We'd been trying to have another baby and having some trouble. We got pregnant last fall & lost the baby and when we went to the doctor we found out some stuff had come up since #1 was born. (And yes, I call her "number one" in real life.) So basically we were told we had less than 5% chance of conceiving and carrying a baby to term on our own. Our insurance covers up to $10K of fertility testing/treatment which isn't a whole heck of a lot in the grand scheme of things because it is expensive. I'm convinced that reproductive endocrinologists must be some of the richest people in the world. So our RE recommended IVF (in-vitro fertilization) rather than spending insurance money on the less agressive treatments, because then if they didn't work we'd have no $ left for IVF. We thought about it, then we found out that Josh's health insurance is changing in November and we don't know what sort of fertility coverage there is. So we agreed to do the IVF. We started the IVF in late June/early July. It is actually pretty darn involved, way more than I expected. The office price is $17K per attempt, so you can see what I mean about $10K of insurance coverage not going far. I went through all the pills, appointments, bloodwork, shots, etc. The office is in Nashville so I was driving just over an hour to Nashville every other day for monitoring. Josh gave me shots in the butt every day and I did the shots in my stomach. Of course there are risks to it also. The day I went for my pregnancy test I got really sick in the car on the way. Josh had decided to come with me, thank goodness, so at least I could rest. I just sort of blew up like a balloon and felt like I was going to pop/pass out/vomit. When I got there they drew my blood and admitted me to the hospital right away for hyperstimulation. It's because I made too many eggs (they aim for 10-15 and I made around 50) and each one comes neatly packaged in this little fluid-filled follicle. Well when they aspirate the eggs the fluid is just sort of free to roam in my third space, and more follicles=more fluid. So that's where it was all coming from. I blew up a little more for a couple days in the hospital then my kidneys sort of freaked out and shut down from all the pressure around them. That is where it got complicated. The hyperstimulation isn't terribly uncommon, though a hospital stay is pretty unusual. But the renal failure, I am the first patient my RE has ever had with such a complication. So I have a fat catheter in my neck, right in the jugular. I go down to dialysis every day and my bloodwork indicates that things have finally gotten better, we are just waiting for my kidneys to realize it and start working. Hopefully early this week. The fluid has gone down a bit. They do this thing called paracenthesis where they stick a big needle in my abdomen with a catheter and drain the fluid into these big bottles. The first day they drained 2 liters and two days later they drained 4 liters. I got really sick from it the second time though so they quit doing that. It is disgusting how much fluid I have. I have gained 22 lbs in the 17 days I've been here and 14" on my waist at one point. Thank goodness it's going down but I still have a ways to go. Oh and yes, we are pregnant. The RE thinks it might be twins based on how I have reacted to this because it is aggravated by the hcg level in the blood, which is higher with multiples. I will have an ultrasound when I get out of here to find out for sure. It is so weird that we went through all that and we have people here that ask us if we are going to keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy. Of course we are going to keep it, we paid $17K for it and no way in H-E-double-hockey-sticks am I going through that again! So now you know the story. I will probably also post some of my musings over it since I have nothing to do but sit here and think. Or I could watch golf. | | Saturday, August 19th, 2006 | | 8:13 pm |
I am in the hospital. I wasn't really telling but then I realized that if I mention it in the future it might sound strange. Today is my 16th day here. My kidneys shut down and I am on dialysis. Maybe I can go home next week. So don't worry. | | Thursday, April 20th, 2006 | | 8:11 pm |
I haven't been feeling well lately. I'm taking this antibiotic (which I'm not so much a fan of) and I am getting every single side effect that it lists on the little instruction sheet. I wish I had a Valium to take too...that would help! (I promise I'm not an addict) Tomorrow we are going to Evansville for the weekend. Mary Ann (our realtor) said that something needs to be fixed on the front door, grass needs cut, and rose bushes need trimmed. Not to mention whatever mess is in the house from people walking through. I'm not looking forward to the cleanup. I wish someone would just buy the darn house, we could use an extra $1500/month right about now. We have to decide what we're doing with this apartment by May 1 as our lease runs out on June 1. I'm thinking we'll just stay here & sign another 6 month lease but it's awfully noisy here and I don't like that part. At least the electric bills are low. Not much else is going on. Just trying to get well and teach my daughter how to behave herself, which seems fruitless at times. | | Monday, April 17th, 2006 | | 9:48 pm |
| | Tuesday, April 11th, 2006 | | 2:26 pm |
Well...we finally have enough money saved to pay off the ginormous tax bill. Nice how the timing works out, we even have 6 days to spare! Today I transferred it all from our savings account to checking so I can send it in. I hate that we no longer have our emergency fund though, but it won't take long to build it back up. Just pray that nothing bad comes up between now & then! The weather has been nice here. Last night we went to the park for a dinner picnic with Haley. She loved romping around in the grass and cried when it was time to go. She got all dirty and even scraped her knee from running around and falling down but she had a blast. It's even warmer today, it's like 83. But supposed to rain tomorrow & the next day. Tomorrow I have to go see Dr. V for my first day of bloodwork. I am supposed to get a Lupron injection as well and I'm a bit nervous about it. I've been advised to do some research, as some of my friends have had problems because of Lupron. I am having a hard time finding much of anything, as the injection is not related to "Lupron Depot" which is a daily injection for some condition or other. This will be somewhere between 1 and 2 units (I'm guessing that's like a unit of insulin?) which is less than a daily dose of Lupron Depot. So that's a good thing, I just wish I could find the studies showing poor side effects or something so I know what to expect. Of course the doctor says it's all fine, and I can't help wondering if it messes me up a bunch and we have to do IVF that will fit in with the doctor's "plan" to make money. I guess I can be a bit of a conspiracy theorist...Anyway, I'll go back on Thursday for the second draw. Not much else going on. I should be cleaning or something but I'm just not in a great mood today. Blah. | | Wednesday, April 5th, 2006 | | 1:17 pm |
| | 10:09 am |
So I've made it to the gym two days in a row now which is pretty good. Haley isn't so keen on the nursery but I'm hoping she'll get used to it the more she goes. I don't even feel like working out, it's the nagging feeling that I'm spending money on it so I'd better go that makes me continue. Which isn't all that bad I guess. I'm so sore today, but that's a good thing. Tomorrow my mom is coming so I have a bit of cleaning to do today. I need to clean the sink in the bathroom. Luckily the toilet is done. I love those disposable toilet wand things. I know they aren't helping the environment any, but it's so much easier than having a gross brush somewhere that Haley can get to it. These things I can just throw away. I also need to go to the store today and get a tomato. Tonight we're having bowtie pasta with vodka sauce. I thought I'd jazz it up a bit with peas, tomatoes, & some leftover pepperoni that I need to get rid of. And a salad of course. I also need to call my mom & call the babysitter back to try to get her to come on Sunday night so Josh & I can go out and actually pay attention to our food for a change. | | Monday, April 3rd, 2006 | | 11:41 am |
Last night there were some pretty bad storms. We had to get Haley up and run over to the clubhouse because it's the only place that has a first floor interior room that we could access. Everything here was okay but the county to the west of us (Logan?) got hit pretty hard. And Tennessee got it pretty bad too so I was a bit worried about my friend, but she is okay too. The visit with my dad went pretty well. It was sort of awkward because there wasn't much to talk about. We went out to eat as I had guessed and that was okay, Haley slept through the whole thing. That is pretty much unheard of, but she refused to nap after church. She slept late today and doesn't want to take her nap again. So I'm just rolling with it... Not much else going on today. I need to meal plan and grocery shop as well as pay my rent. Also I have to go to the gym this afternoon, I'm a bit concerned about how well H will do in the nursery. I'm planning to make it quick since it will be her first time there. I really don't want to go at all, but I guess paying for a membership is the ultimate motivation because if I don't go I'll be throwing the money away. | | Sunday, April 2nd, 2006 | | 11:22 am |
We just got back from church, but I'm just not feelin' it. It's this new church here in the Green that we've been going to and it's the best one we can find...but... It's still not really "right" for us. I miss CFC. My dad is coming today for a visit. He should be getting here in a few hours but I don't really know as he wasn't too specific on the whens/whats. I'm not really sure what to do with him either. I guess we will go out to eat or something (boring) but it's raining so we can't do anything outside. It's too bad because it's been really nice & I'd like to take Haley to the park. She's got a cute dress on today. :) The thought occured to me during church that my dad may not be wearing his wedding band when he gets here. But I am thinking if not, he will have had to get it cut off because I'm pretty sure it's stuck on his finger. That would happen after 30 years... (my parents are getting divorced) The other day Haley scared the shizzle out of me. We live on the second floor and we had just gotten back from the grocery. I carried her up & put her in the apartment to play with her toys. Then I ran back down to grab the last couple of bags which I do all the time. The apartment is completely baby proofed so there isn't much she can get into, especially in 30 seconds. I came back up and the door was open (!) I looked around and couldn't find her, eventually I realized she had climbed up to the third floor and was on the landing there. My heart literally stopped thinking about if she had chosen to go down instead of up. What a scare, probably the biggest one we've had yet. Friday was her 15 month appointment at the dr and she had to get 3 shots. They also wanted to give her a Hep A shot, but I refused it for now. It's new on the market (less than 3 months old) and I was thinking that Hep A was transmitted much in the same way that AIDS is transmitted but I wasn't for sure. I kind of got the evil eye from the nurse for saying no, as well as a lecture on how it's "required". I took home the literature on the vax and I'm not happy with it. I am going to decline it and hope they will forget that she hasn't had it. I just don't feel right about this one. She's not sharing drug needles, visiting third world countries, or having sex so I'm not sure why it's required. I was a little concerned with the chicken pox vax but sort of got suckered into it. If we are vaccinating for these things, there is no immunity. The vax is only good for about 10 years, then she will need it again. What happens when she's 20 or 30? Will she remember to get the vaccination? She will not have built up ANY immunity to it so if she happens to get chicken pox then it would be a really bad case. I hear there are such things as "chicken pox parties" where people get together with their unvax'd kids so they get chicken pox and get it over with. I really sort of wanted to consider this but Josh was adamantly against it. Anyway...I've been wanting to blog a bit about day to day life and I wanted to do it at homeschoolblogger.com but I'm not homeschooling (currently) so it feels a bit silly. Then again, it feels silly to blog about "normal" stuff here too, so I don't know. I guess if I just do it and print them out later then it won't really matter. | | Thursday, March 30th, 2006 | | 10:28 pm |
Day 104
Day 104 of my captivity. The walls of this domicile are closing in. It is becoming increasingly difficult to escape, as Houdini's teeth cause a certain agony that depletes the joy out of field trips. I was taken aback today when my finger was nearly lynched as I was not informed of the sharpness of eye teeth. I continue to see a multitude of mishapen arrows scrolling upward everywhere I look. The revolution is taking over my brain...must find another form of exercise. I am beginning to suspect I will be in unwanted company soon...another dwelling may be on the bubble. | | Sunday, February 19th, 2006 | | 9:58 am |
A is for age: 26 B is for Booze: Gin & Tonic C is for Career: chemical engineer by trade, mom by choice D is for Dad's Name: James F is for Favorite song at the moment: It is not a favorite by far, but currently the Wiggles comes to mind G is for Girl friends: not big on girlfriends currently, but they are from college H is for Hometown: Louisville, KY I is for Instruments you play: the radio J is for Jam or Jelly that you like: Smuckers Sugar Free Seedless Blackberry K is for Kids: Haley L is for Living arrangements: An apartment in Bowling Green and a house in Evansville that needs to sell soon M is for Mom's name: Janis N is for Name of your future children: You will have to wait and see :) O is for Overnight hospital stays: When Haley was born P is for phobia(s): birds freak me out Q is for Quotes you like: R is for Relationship that lasted the longest: Josh - together 7 years now S is for Siblings: little sister Allison, half sister Jean and half brother James T is for Time you wake up: between 6 and 6:30 U is for Unique trait: I can fidget to various beats V is for Vegetable you love: broccoli W is for Worst trait: I expect people to know when something is bothering me and what it is X is for X-rays: tailbone Y is for yummy food you make: chili, chicken broccoli casserole, baked ziti Z is for zodiac sign: Leo First Job: Winn-Dixie, low prices, that's our promise, that's our way! America's supermarket, Winn-Dixie, every day! Funeral: I can't remember if I went to my great grandmother's in 2nd grade or not, but the first I remember Josh's Aunt several years ago. Pet: Guinea pig named Squeaker Piercing: ears Credit card: Capitol One Visa with a picture of Starry Night on the front Enemy: James Graves in elementary school Last Car ride: Yesterday - went to get my hair cut. Kiss: Kissed Haley this morning Movie watched: movie?? I can't remember! Phone call: my mom - last night after we had all gone to bed Time showered: this morning, probably around 8 CD played: Ruben Morgan Now Single or Taken: Taken Birthday: July 29 Hair color: brown w/caramel highlights Shoe size: 8 Height: 5'4 Right Now Wearing : black shirt from Old Navy & blue jeans, bare feet Drinking: nothing Thinking about: folding laundry | | Wednesday, February 15th, 2006 | | 10:42 pm |
Also, my sweet Valentine :)  |
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